All our masks
But seriously, wear one.
This is 8-year-old Sina. Little did she know that one day, her future daughter would also go as Lisa Simpson for Halloween. (In fact, when I did the math, she too went as Lisa Simpson at age 8. Did I plan this? Maybe my subconscious did.)
To be honest, I never thought I’d have a family of my own—kids, a partner, and all that. Some might find this a bit sad, but it wasn’t sad at all. I mean, it was a bit sad at the time: 8-year-old me crying alone at night, thinking I’d always be alone, that no one would ever love me... that Julio (the boy I was in love with) would never love me… All of this poured into my Little Mermaid journal. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends who knew exactly what they wanted—to travel the world, become heart surgeons, actresses, party animals, have families, etc. But not me. I was crying, thinking of all the things I’d never have, sure I would fail to fit into the perfect little system made for us to be happy and successful (ha!).
Now, I’m quite enjoying the ‘Flow Trip’ (my friend Pipi’s word for Plot Twist, by the way). Many years later, I ended up with the most beautiful family, and it happened without any expectations. You see where I’m going? I wasn’t expecting any of this. This was the greatest gift life could have given me: this fucking AMAZING family, created without expectations. Isn’t it beautiful?
Now do yourself a favour and think about all the masks (literally, masks or costumes) you wore as a kid. How many can you remember? Which was your favourite, and why? How did it make you feel to wear it—powerful? Ridiculously beautiful? Different? Unique? If you thought I was going to talk about metaphorical masks like “sister,” “friend,” “worker”… nope. I’m talking about real ones—the ones we made with our hands or bought at the store, the ones we still get excited about when we’re getting ready for a party or Halloween, any excuse to wear one.
Because anything and everything can be an excuse for fun. For ‘playing.’
Even in the most serious situations, we’re still playing a game.
Think back to the times you played games with friends, cousins, or classmates. Was there anything more serious than setting up the game rules? The most serious thing happening was the rule-setting, and then the commitment—oh, the commitment! You stick to those rules as if your life depended on them. Don’t you dare play that game any differently. This is SERIOUS business; this is PLAY.
Do you get it?
Are your masks serving you well?
When you listen to older people’s stories, they often say, “I wish I had more fun,” “I wish I spent more time with my family,” “I wish I didn’t take that job so seriously.”
How do we end up taking everything seriously except ‘play’? How do we forget this and only remember when we’re older? Yes, I know. We take on loads of responsibilities as we grow up (if we really grow up—some people just get older), and often, we’re at capacity. But please, let’s not forget about play. Let’s wear our masks with pride. And while it’s great to be “cringe,” playing is the ultimate goal, because it allows us to enjoy life the way kids do—purely and openly.
Don’t get me wrong—this isn’t about being silly. If anything, it’s the opposite.
Go back again and remember the times someone laughed at you for being so in character. This is why we call ourselves ‘silly.’ In the end, silliness means to take everything too seriously.
I’m sure many of you already wear your masks with pride and are winning at the game of life. But sometimes we need a reminder because, as we grow older, sometimes shit starts hitting the fan.
When my daughter Lola was born (she’s 10 now), I started a family tradition. Every Halloween, we’d go out dressed in a group costume, choosing a theme and committing to it. Oh, and we do commit! Every year is different. I’d lock myself in my studio and create the most amazing costumes. I’ve been Jazz from The Fresh Prince, an Oompa Loompa, a Ghostbuster, Professor Trelawney, Marge Simpson, and so on…
So, is this about me telling you I’m better than you because I like dressing up and wearing masks? Yes.
Haha! No, not really. This is me reminding you that you’re still that 8-year-old kid. You can close your eyes and go back there anytime. And you know what’s even better? You can be that kid now. You can make space for that part of you at any moment.
This is serious business, so go on—put on your serious mask now.
Love y’all!
Sina
Sos arte ❤️